The nature of our mind is to attach itself to pleasure and avoid pain. Most of our lives consist of including activities to feel pleasure and avoiding activities which we perceive as painful. Although biologically logical, this does not embrace the totality of life. The life which includes death. Change, which is part of life. Eternal flow of manifestation and creation in light and dark, which ultimately are simply complementary.
Sex is also just like life. It has its challenges and it has its bliss. Therefore we need to learn and understand the depth of sex just as we would like to understand the depth of life. Therefore it is actually good to change perspective in that you are not seeking your own pleasure in sex, you are not running after an unmet desire or overtaken by uncontrollable sexual energy. The idea of sex is to embrace its depth in its totality.
There is nothing wrong with experiencing pleasure and by no means should one experience physical pain in sex. However, once you have learned to relax into complete and total satisfaction of blissful flow of sexual energy and orgasmic experiences, the real depth comes in going beyond it. Using this initial desire, this initial powerful energy, but then not getting attached to our ego’s limited desire for self-pleasure but to offer this energy, this love to something beyond our limits.
Detachment to egos pleasure allows attachment to immortality. Instead of being controlled by physical urge and the fruits of our sexual act, to attach to our partner, go beyond the fruits. Offer your desire, your love, your devotion, your sexual energy, your openness your flow to something higher, something beyond, your very essence, your soul, this deep often untouched place within which we forget with strong ego’s desires and mind. Rest in this stillness of beyond pleasure. This is the garden of Eden. We only fall out, if we want the forbidden fruit of the sexual act, but if we are willing to let go of the fruit, we can reach back into paradise.
Once you have achieved pleasure, it is then the work begins to go beyond pleasure. To go deeper. This manifestation and the daily reality of human limitations can be seen and used as tools to go beyond to limitless perfection.
To reach this we need to let go. Let go. And let go. This requires trust. This requires the present moment, we need to drop worries about the past and future. Trust the intuition. Choosing to face the unknown with love instead of fear.
When saying yes to something, we always say no to something else. By saying yes to the ego, we say no to the soul. Let go of ego to reconnect with the soul by dropping judgement and falling into surrender, worship, devotion and service. It is our ego that is driven by the desire to reach peak pleasure, this can be used as a platform, but not as a destination. The destination is beyond.